Tag: Marriage Equality

Community of Love

Community of Love

wendygracehendry

A wedding ceremony is the formal time of transition for a couple into marriage, with all the legal and heart-led words and actions that go with it. It is also a time where people gather to celebrate the union of the couple who are preparing to spend a lifetime together.  For as much as marriage is about a commitment between two people, it is strengthened when nurtured by the community of family and friends surrounding them.

For some couples, acknowledging the importance of those around them, and the support they bring to their lives, is an aspect they want to specifically recognise in their ceremony and there are many ways you can do this.  Here are some examples my couples have chosen:

Love Notes

Kathy and Aidan Wedding 1
Kathy and Aidan’s Fair Harvest wedding – Bo-Jangles was a super handsome ring bearer in his fancy bow. Photo by Zuzu.

Kathy and Aiden wanted to include their friends and family in the ceremony, and to feel that community of love and support as they made the transition to married life.  We discussed ways that this could be done effectively during the ceremony, incorporating the central idea of a time of wishing or blessing to the couple from everyone gathered.  What happened was this – As guests arrived they were asked to take a paper heart, and write on it just one word as a blessing or wish for the couple. At a special time in the ceremony a basket was placed on the ground in front of the couple. Guests were invited to come forward with their love note and read their word aloud to the couple as they placed the paper heart in the basket. As this process unfolded it became a wonderful time of connection, blessing and community as a myriad of beautiful single words were expressed to the couple.  You can read more about this beautiful wedding here – LOVE NOTES

Wishing StonesWendy Grace Hendry Celebrant wishing well ritual

In a similar way, the wishing stones concept was to bring a sense of community to the ceremony, and give everyone gathered an opportunity to be part of wishing them well in their future in a symbolic way.  As guests arrived at the ceremony they were handed a wishing stone and asked to hold it until a certain time in the ceremony.  And then after the couple exchanged vows and rings, a beautiful piece of music was played and the gathered community were invited to come forward with their stone and place it in a bowl, whilst making a wish or blessing to the couples future.  This simple act became a meaningful time for all involved, with an opportunity to share eye contact and a smile with each person, and to feel the love and support of the people around them.

These two ideas above can be easily incorporated into a ceremony, and adapted to suit the couple.  Depending on the size of the gathered guests it can add an extra 5-10 minutes to the ceremony, and takes gentle guidance from the Celebrant to ensure it runs smoothly, and is a meaningful time for all involved.

On a smaller scale, other ways to symbolise the importance of the community around you could be:

  • If you have a small number of guests, arrange the chairs in a semi circle instead of straight lines – it can feel more like a big hug 🙂
  • At the beginning of the ceremony I’m sometimes asked to have the parents stand to give their blessing to the marriage, usually in the form of a question with a ‘we do’ answer. This could be extended to inviting all the gathered guests to stand and express their support or blessing to the couple – imagine how loud the ‘we do’ could be!
  • In many ways, the showering of rose petals, or forming of an archway as the couple walk back up the aisle, can be a way of everyone showing them love and support as they take their first steps into marriage.
  • Alternatively, instead of walking back up the aisle, asking guests to come forward and congratulate them. They will soon find themselves surrounded by happy well-wishers – this can sometimes become quite the group hug!

These are just a few examples, and each couple is unique in what they want their ceremony to highlight.  I’m always happy to step outside the square, and work with my couples to find new ways of recognising the importance of their own community of love, or anything else for that matter!

More ideas of symbolic actions and ceremony ritual here – Wedding Ceremony Rituals

 

Luke and Charlotte’s Wedding Gnarabup – Photo by Driftwood Photography

 

Handfasting Elopement

Handfasting Elopement

wendygracehendry

Chrissy and Shaz were married in the Boranup Forest in an elopement style ceremony which incorporated a special Handfasting ritual with beautiful rainbow ribbons.

When I sat down with Chrissy and Shaz over a cuppa to discuss their ceremony, there were some key things they wanted for their day.  It was to be small, intimate ceremony, and they really wanted to incorporate a Handfasting because the symbolism, and pagan origins of this ritual were important to them.

A traditional Handfasting was originally a betrothal ceremony marked by the tying of cords or ribbons around the couples joined hands to represent their union. It is a ritual commonly used in Celtic and Pagan ceremonies, and now also incorporated in both civil and religious ceremonies in various forms.   Having only watched a full Handfasting ceremony once before, I was excited for the challenge of incorporating this ritual in Chrissy and Shaz’s elopement in the Boranup Forest in a way that would be meaningful and unique to them.

There are many ways a handfasting can be performed. Some incorporate a single rope that is wrapped and tied around the couples joined hands, and others that incorporate ribbons, or a combination of both, ending with the pulling apart of the hands so the ribbon forms an infinity knot.  My approach with weddings is to always seek to reflect the couples wishes in all aspects of the ceremony, especially with something as personal as an elopement.  So after discussing a few options we settled on incorporating seven coloured ribbons, six of the rainbow colours, and a final gold ribbon to symbolise the sacred union and blessing.    Each colour represented an aspect of life and relationship, and after placing it over their joined hands, a promise was made between them.

Handfasting – Photo by Dian Sarah Photography

After all seven ribbons were placed, they were then wrapped and tied around the joined hands, and I read the poem ‘Blessing of the Hands’.  Chrissy and Shaz then went on to exchange their vows, and the final moment of pulling their hands away and tying the infinity knot was made.

To complete the ceremony they then exchanged rings – a visible symbol of the promises made.  The infinity knot remains tied, and is now a beautiful keepsake for them to remember this day by.

It was such an honour to prepare and officiate this ceremony for Chrissy and Shaz, and to be with them in this special moment.  The ceremony was captured beautifully by Dian Sarah Photography.

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River Stone Ceremony

River Stone Ceremony

wendygracehendry

There is a ritual inspired by Celtic traditions, said to be used by early settlers and convicts in Australia, where instead of exchanging rings, as they were far too expensive, the couple would cast a stone into the river as a symbol of the wedding promises made, ever strong and steady as the river of the water ebbs and flows around them.

Tiffany and Corinne were married in February 2018, in the beautiful natural setting of Nanga Bush Camp in Dwellingup, WA.  The chosen location for their ceremony was in a clearing alongside the Murray River.

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Tiff and Corinne’s Wedding Ceremony – photo by April Loves Arnold

There were many personalised elements to Tiff and Corinne’s ceremony, as they stood together, with their siblings by their side, ready to take the steps to marriage.  And although they were exchanging rings, a river stone ritual seemed like a natural choice for such a location, and was a perfect way to complete their wedding ceremony.

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Stone and Rings – photo by April Loves Arnold

After the main part of the ceremony had taken place, and the couple and witnesses had signed the marriage register, the bridal party made their way across the rocks alongside the water.  Their attendants, Brie and Daniel handed Tiffany and Corinne a special stone each, chosen for the occasion.

Tiffany and Corrine were asked to hold the stones in their hands to warm them, and feel the smooth, solid weight of them, before exchanging stones with each other.  They then turned, and cast them into the river water below, followed by these words of good wishes:

“From this day forward, may your relationship stay strong and solid, as life, like the river, ebbs and flows around you.”

They were then presented for the first time as ‘Mrs and Mrs’ to cheers and applause from friends and family – such a wonderful moment to celebrate!!

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Final Presentation to Family and Friends – Photo by April Loves Arnold

I love helping couples find new ways to express their relationship and personalities, and to include creative elements to their ceremony.  The river stone ritual worked so well in this setting by the Murray River, and could be adapted by to other locations as inspired. There are ideas for other rituals here.

The photos are by the talented Amy of April Loves Arnold. Many thanks to Tiffany and Corinne for sharing these photos, and their fabulous wedding day with me!

Wendy x 

Exchanging Stones – photo by April Loves Arnold
Photo by April Loves Arnold
Signing the Registry – Photo by April Loves Arnold
Final Presentation to Family and Friends – Photo by April Loves Arnold
Exchanging Rings – photo by April Loves Arnold
Final Words – photo by April Loves Arnold
Tiff and Corinne Wedding Ceremony – photo by April Loves Arnold
Brides by the River – photo by April Loves Arnold
River Stone and Rings – photo by April Loves Arnold
The wedding party – photo by April Loves Arnold
There’s No Place Like Home

There’s No Place Like Home

wendygracehendry

After an amazing 20 years together, Tracy and Kim were married in their favorite place – their beautiful home in Rosa Brook, in the Margaret River Region of Western Australia.

The weekend of their wedding day was one of wild storms – heavy rain and wind had been sweeping across the south west for a few days.  Luckily they had a ‘plan B’ in mind so the garden ceremony they had been hoping for was put aside, and the ceremony was set up in their (amazingly) renovated shed.  The room was adorned with fairy lights, candles and streamers, and the centerpiece was the gorgeous arbor made especially for the occasion and positioned to frame the doors which were opened to look out at the surrounding nature.

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Here come the brides! Photo by Kelly Harwood Photography

In the late afternoon, in somewhat perfect timing, the rain and wind stopped and the sun came out ready for Tracy and Kim to make their way together from the house to their wedding ceremony.  It seemed so perfect for them to walk in together and take their place under the arbor.  They had been near-inseparable since they met 20 years ago, so it was natural for them to arrive at such a special day by each others side.

As they stood before close friends and family, I think everyone, including me, shed a few happy tears during their ceremony.  There was so much love in the room. And as the Monitum was read out, that ‘marriage according to law in Australia is the union of two people…’ it was a wonderful reminder that the law had finally caught up to love! What a beautiful thing to celebrate!

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Tracy and Kim exchanging rings – photo by Kelly Harwood Photography

Thank you to Kim and Tracy for allowing me to share some of their story and gorgeous photos.  Wishing them many more years of love and happiness in that beautiful place you call home!

Wendy x

Photos by the talented Kelly Harwood Photography –  https://kellyharwoodphotography.pixieset.com/

See also – Equal Love

Telling the story – photo by Kelly Harwood Photography
Tracy and Kim exchanging rings – photo by Kelly Harwood Photography
Time to Sign! – photo by Kelly Harwood Photography
With the Brides – photo by Kelly Harwood Photography
There’s no place like home – photo by Kelly Harwood Photography
Equal Love

Equal Love

wendygracehendry

Yesterday was the second time I’ve had the joy of saying the new ‘Monitum’ wording with two wonderful women in front of me as they prepare to marry.  It is such a simple changing to the wording – “Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of two people…” but those simple words ‘two people’ represent so much to so many who have been waiting for this change for such a long time.

My wedding yesterday in Margaret River was between two people who had been together for a fabulous 20 years, and were finally able to be legally married in front of their family and friends at their home. They were able to celebrate the amazing discovery of unconditional love, and the joy of life shared with their soulmate and best friend.  What a wonderful moment it was to speak those new words to this couple, confirming that their love is equal in the eyes of the law in Australia.  I must confess, even though I’ve been saying these words for a few months now, I got a little emotional reciting the Monitum this time – I’m only human!

Hopefully I will have some photos to share of this beautiful day soon, but for now take in the simplicity and power of this line of the Monitum:

marriage equality monitum - Wendy Hendry Celebrant

 

Yes to Love

Yes to Love

wendygracehendry

It has now been confirmed that there will be a postal vote on whether the people of Australia would support marriage equality.
Equal love is an issue close to my heart as many of you would know.
I absolutely love weddings and the important role I am entrusted to play in them. One day I would also like the freedom to marry, as would many, many beautiful people I know.
As a Civil Celebrant I look forward to the day I can officiate legal weddings for all of my wonderful couples, regardless of gender.
I will be voting YES TO LOVE! 

You can read more by going to my Same Sex Wedding page.  Find out about My Commitment to You while we wait for marriage equality in Australia.

Wendy x

Equal Love Image - Wendy Hendry Celebrant

My Commitment to You

wendygracehendry

It seems the cogs of change are slowly turning across our country, and the possibility of marriage equality is becoming more hopeful.  Many people are waiting, or know of family or friends who are waiting for their love to be equal.

However I can understand for many people, the wait is too long.  You’re in love, you’ve found your soulmate, and you want to declare it to your family and friends now in a beautiful ceremony.

It’s been almost 10 years now since my partner and I chose to celebrate our love and commitment with a wedding. It will always be my heart wedding, and I’m glad we decided not to wait – it marked a special moment in time, and we have beautiful memories to look back on now.  One day we hope to have the opportunity for a legal marriage.

So my commitment to you, while we wait for those cogs to move a bit faster, is this:

Book me as your Celebrant for your Commitment Ceremony now, and together we will create your dream wedding.  When the laws change I will conduct your legal marriage ceremony free of charge.    

Together we will celebrate love!

Read more about Same Sex Weddings here. The second ceremony will be a ‘legal’s only’ one  within my ‘Short and Sweet’ guidelines.  Contact me for more information and to tell me your plans so we can begin to imagine, laugh and create together.

Wendy x

My wedding day